Blog

2022 Summer Reading List

Advice, Entertainment

The summer of 2022 is almost here, so it’s time to start planning your reading list for the fall. The weather is finally starting to cool down a little bit, and you can finally put away those long-sleeved shirts and sweatpants. With that being said, there’s still plenty of excellent reading material out there this summer that you likely failed to get ahold of. So to help you stay ahead of the pack this summer and avoid being left behind by the reading community, here are five new books that we think you should add to your summer 2022 reading list!

1. A House Between Earth and the Moon by Rebecca Scherm

Rebecca Scherm’s A House Between Earth and the Moon is a quiet and haunting story about a young woman who finds herself in a private house. It’s an eerie tale of mystery, suspense, and the supernatural that will have you questioning what is real. It’s the perfect summer read, especially if you’re looking for something to keep you on your toes. Reading this book is like watching a movie — you’ll keep turning the pages to find out what happens next.

2. The Great White Shark by Anne Tyler

The Summer of the Great White Shark, Anne Tyler’s latest book, is about a young woman dealing with difficult family life and a complicated relationship. The book is set in the summer of 1972 and follows the story of a young girl as she tries to find her way through it all. It’s an emotional read that will have you on the edge of your seat as you figure out what’s going on. Travar Pottles is a young woman raised by an overprotective mother. Her mother has always been overbearing, and she’s never had an opportunity to find her own identity. When she meets a handsome stranger, Travar’s life takes a turn for the better — but that all changes when she finds herself in the middle of a murder investigation.

3. My German Soldier by Betina Krahn

Betina Krahn’s latest release,My German Soldier, is about a young woman from Germany who finds herself falling in love with an American soldier during World War II. It’s the kind of book that will question your values and beliefs as you read about how two very different people came together for one summer. It’s one of those books that will have you believing in true love, even if you don’t always agree with it when it happens to you or others around you. Disabilities, illness, and death are all part of life, but they shouldn’t be a reason to stop living.My German Soldier is a book about living and loving.

4. Memphis by Tara M. Stringfellow

Tara M. Stringfellow’s latest release Memphis is about a young woman struggling with her past, future, and everything in between. It’s a story about a girl who tries to find herself by figuring out what happened to her father when he was younger. The book is about finding out the truth, even if it means working through your pain and heartache. It’s about the things you don’t know that could change your life or the person you are today, but it also has a lot of hope and love. Pettway and her father had a very close relationship, but when he disappeared, Pettway was left with nothing; there was no way she could let him go.

5. The Lifeguards by Amanda Eyre Ward

Amanda Eyre Ward’s latest release, The Lifeguards, is about two sisters caught up in a murder investigation. It’s a story about a family trying to survive in the face of tragedy and how they deal with it uniquely. It’s a book about how we all handle tragedy differently but how it doesn’t make us any less human or deserving of love. We all have reasons for being the way we are, and sometimes you can only truly understand yourself by knowing what happened to others before you. Disability does not make you any less human, nor should it make you any less worthy of love.

6. We Do What We Do in the Dark by Michelle Hartman

Michelle Hartman is a fantastic author of psychological thrillers,she’s releasing her debut novel, We Do What We Do in the Dark. In the book, a young couple struggling financially find themselves under suspicion after a brutal murder. The crime remains unsolved, but the police have no leads on who could have committed the crime. So what if they decide to do some digging on their own? With that being said, it’s time for you to read all about what happens when they start doing their digging, and you won’t be able to put this book down until you finish it!

There are many great books out there that have to do with disability and love, but the ones mentioned above are my favorite. They’re all about finding yourself and moving forward, even if you have to do it with the help of your loved ones. These books will make you think about what it means to live a life that isn’t defined by your disability or illness, and they will make you want to fight for that life as hard as you can. Disability doesn’t have to be a reason for giving up on yourself or your dreams, but it can be a reason for loving someone else even more than you ever thought possible.

Disabled and Having Hope

Advice, Health

, , , ,

Hope is a difficult topic to talk about. There are many influences that effect the way we look at hope. Some of us incorporate our religious views in the way we view hope. Some of us incorporate science into how we view hope. Sometimes it’s both. Some people have no hope at all.

For the purposes of this post, we must define hope. Hope is expecting a certain outcome despite current circumstances. Notice that this definition has two parts. The first part is having an expectation. The second part requires us to disregard our present circumstances. We will discuss these matters, in more detail, later.

Conscious Mind

First, let’s talk about the conscious and the subconscious minds. The conscious mind lives in reality. We process information and make conclusions with our conscious mind. We make assumptions with our conscious mind. Our conscious mind isn’t always reliable but it’s what we use to guide us through life.

 Using our conscious mind restricts us to our conclusions and assumptions. Our world becomes small and somewhat practical. We can seek information from books, blogs and other sources to expand our consciousness. However, our conscious minds cannot be expanded infinitely.

Thinking consciously and being knowledgeable is important. However, our conscious mind can have a negative effect on how we hope, how strongly we hope, and how consistently we have hope. Our conscious mind can also determine whether we have hope at all. Mind

Subconscious Mind

Our subconscious mind lives just outside the realm of consciousness. For example, we dream with our subconscious minds. Our dreams are often weird and irrational. Yet they have elements of reality. We experience people, places and things that exist in the real World, in our sleep. Our dreams often feel like they are real because they have an element of reality to them.

There are no restrictions in our subconscious minds. We can imagine and dream whatever we want. The subconscious mind can create endless variations of the same thing. That’s why we are able dream multiple different dreams in a night and who knows how many over our lifetime. It’s why different dreams can bring out the same emotions in us, in different ways.

We develop our hopes, goals and dreams in our conscious mind and transfer them to our subconscious mind. This is where we develop and refine what we hope for. We take a conscious goal, we think about it, we meditate on it, and we believe it as if it has already happened. Our subconscious mind starts to bring our hopes and dreams to the conscious world.

Manifestation

The manifestation of hope occurs when the subconscious realm meets the conscious realm. The goals that we have in our subconsciousness began to affect our actions. Our actions began to move us toward our subconscious goal. Our belief in religion, science or anything else doesn’t matter. As long as we believe in what we hope for. Now, we may have hope and/or believe that something scientific or religious may happen. This will move us to act toward whatever we religiously believe or scientifically hope for.

As I mentioned earlier hope has two elements that lead to manifestation. We design the outcome we desire in our subconscious mind. We place no limit on what outcome we desire. I desire for a cure that will end the permanence of spinal cord injuries. I take care of my body because I believe that there will be a cure. I want to live long enough to experience a cure. I also want to be in the best physical and mental shape possible, when my hope manifests.

The second part is where your conscious mind comes into play. In order to achieve manifestation of what you hope for is to look over everything your reality tells you. I feel the daily pains from this injury. However, I believe that my tomorrow is happening today. I look past the pain and believe that what I am hoping for is more real than the pain I feel. I believe that a cure is so real, that the pain I feel is just an inconvenience.

Conclusion

Be careful because hope doesn’t care what it is that you desire. If you hope for something negative, it will happen. Your actions will move you towards that negative act. You will have to deal with the consequences of manifestation. No matter if you desire something good or bad.

What you consistently believe will come true. It’s not magic. Hope is simply a tool to move your actions in a manner consistent to your thinking. If you believe you can, you will. If you believe you can’t, you won’t. Hope is a powerful tool. Use it but use it well.

5 Gadgets People with Disabilities Must Have

Advice, Health

, ,

These are a few gadgets that have changed my life. Some have health benefits. Others help me to be more productive. Get yours!

1. Renpho Powerful Portable Massage Gun

This guy helps me loosen tight, achy muscles. It can also help you avoid contractions. My shoulders hurt almost everyday. I use this massage gun to work out the kinks and get back in the game!

2. Nutribullet Personal Blender

I love to eat. I can really get down. However, I have had stomach issues over the years. I am trying to eat less and still maintain 2000 calories a bay. Drinking a smoothie with boost, protein powder, fruit and yogurt helps me get the calories I need and makes me feel full. I owe my blender a debt of gratitude.

3. YZILXY Leg Elevation Pillow

I use this on the days that I just don’t want to get out of bed. It helps me stay comfortable for long periods of time and helps with blood flow. I put this pillow on the foot rests when I’m in my wheelchair and kick back and relax. It’s a daily essential!

4. Crazypig Sleep Bluetooth Eye Mask

I don’t sleep much. I also like need noise when I sleep. This eye mask helps me get quality sleep for short periods of time. When I want to sleep in, I put these on and I’m in my own world. I can listen to soothing music to help get me to sleep fast. Or I can put on NPR lay back and block out the world.

5. Magicafé French Press Coffee Maker

I love a good cup of coffee. I don’t drink much but when I want a cup don’t give me watered down brown water. I like my coffee strong and sweet. A French Press allows you to enjoy the process of making a cup just as much as you do the coffee. The smell of freshly ground beans and the smells of the coffee brewing will not disappoint you.

I use all of these products or some variation of them every day. I wanted to share them in hopes that they will make you happier like they have me. Tell me what products you can’t live without. Let me know in the comments how you like these and any other products.

5 Shows Featuring People with Disabilities

Advice, Entertainment

,

There has been quite a few shows starring people with disabilities. Too often these shows don’t get much publicity. Some of them are not that great. However there are some that are good. I listed some here that you can add to your watch list.

As We See It

This series is streamed on Amazon Prime. The series follows three roommates with autism. They struggle with small tasks and are socially awkward. The series reveals the struggles that comes with being autistic and trying to have a regular life. It’s serious and funny at the same time.

Special

This series is streamed on Netflix. It’s features a gay man with cerebral palsy. This series shows how physical deformities affect a person’s goal of living the way he wants to. It deals with many different stereotypes. The main character uses humor to navigate awkward situations. This show is also serious and funny at the same time.

Atypical

This series is also streamed on Netflix. It show the difficultly of living with autism. However, it has come under scrutiny for featuring non-disabled actors and not accurately portraying what it is like to be autistic. I thought the show was entertaining but it lacked depth.

Raising Dion

This show is also streamed on Netflix. This show features people with disabilities but the main character does not have a disability. He has super powers. Or shall we say super abilities. He struggles learning how to use and live with his abilities. There are people with disabilities in this show. I added it because I wanted to show how abilities can be hindrances also.

Sound of Metal

This post is about shows but I had to add one movie. This movie taps into my love of music. It’s about a drummer who loses his hearing. I admit that I have not had the time to watch it yet but this movie has won many awards. I look forward to it and so should you.

I honestly don’t watch much TV. When I do, I don’t want to waste my time. I like honest reviews. If you would like to recommend any show or movie, add it to the comments. Thank you in advance.

Dating and Relationships for People with Disabilities

Advice, Health

, , , ,

Attraction

Many people with disabilities have physical deformities. Many of us can become self-conscious and insecure. Evolution tells us that our looks have something to do with whether or not we would make a good mate. Today evolution tells us that the good-looking athlete will make a better partner than the nerdy looking computer programmer. It also tells us that a slender female with curves and long hair will make a good mate. Physical characteristics are no longer the leading predictor of a person will be a good life partner.

These evolutionary imprints were relevant in hunter gatherer societies, but they have caused us to make many modern relationship mistakes. Attraction doesn’t have to be attached to how we physically look. Relationships based on complementary traits survive longest. As the saying goes “opposites attract”, may be true but if opposites don’t balance each other, then opposites could be toxic. As people with disabilities, we must realize that we’re worth more than our looks. Our character is much more valuable than our appearance.

If you want to be attractive to a certain type of partner, you must appeal to their preferences. Your ideal type may also have a type. Some people value financial security, physical security or intellectual stimulation over physical attraction. When you are looking to attract the type of person you want to build a relationship with, imagine the traits that you think they like and try to develop them. Then you will become attractive to them also.

I am not saying that you should change the core of who you are, but you can expand who you are to become more attractive. For instance, if you are looking for someone that listens and respects your feelings, you might want to make sure you are able to do the same. If you are looking for someone who is adventurous, you might want to be flexible and engage in activities that they might like too. You absolutely must be ready to reasonably meet their expectations if you expect them to be willing to meet yours.

Dating

First things first, make sure you let the other person know that you would like to date them but that does not mean you are committing to anything. This honesty would be appreciated by a sincere person, and it lets them know that you don’t have any ill intent. It will also make ending the dating phase easier because you have already established that there is a possibility that there won’t be a relationship.

Dates are interviews. Rarely does anyone show up to an interview to be completely honest. Most people exaggerate their positives and downplay their negatives. However, it’s hard for an individual to hide subconscious habits. For instance, if the person you are dating yells at someone that cuts them off and unnecessarily complains about small things, they could be showing you that they have anger and self-esteem issues. You can’t hide your true self forever!

When you date, you should try to do activities that reveal a person’s character. If you want an adventurous mate, go on adventurous dates. If the person shows you that they are open to new things, they might be the right person for you. If you are looking for an intellectual equal, go on dates that will force them to talk and share their thoughts. Places like museums, political events or social gatherings could facilitate good conversation and reveal how the person thinks. Make sure each date has a purpose and be sure to analyze them afterword.

Don’t waste your time with someone who you can’t see yourself being with. Everyone won’t pass the interview. If you want to stop dating that person, you should. Just be polite and honest when telling them why. Also, you should be safe by giving out as little personal information as possible. Remember that this person is a stranger. The purpose is to get to know them. Till then you don’t. Also any form of abuse is never acceptable!

Relationships

Being in relationship and having a disability is more difficult than being in a traditional relationship. Make sure the person genuinely cares about you. Many people with disabilities are taken advantage of because some of us can be desperate and/or naive. Use your brain and not your heart at this point. Walk into love. Don’t fall into it.

As things become more serious, avoid letting your partner become your caregiver. Your caregivers are employees. Your partner isn’t and shouldn’t be. You may have to mix the two but try to keep it to a minimum. I know from experience that allowing your partner to become a caregiver will put a strain on your relationship. Your employees are expected to live up to a certain standard. If they don’t, you can fire them. If your partner doesn’t live up to that standard, you can’t fire them and it will cause tension. It could end your relationship if you allow this issue to fester.

You are going to have to make a concerted effort to keep your relationship strong. You will have to get out of bed when you don’t feel like it. You will have to go places that you might not want to. You will have to participate in activities, even when you are tired. If you don’t, you partner will get used to doing things without you and eventually you will grow apart.

On the other hand, your partner will have to understand that there will be some things that you cannot do. They might have to sacrifice going to their favorite restaurant because it’s not wheelchair friendly. They will have to understand that there will be certain family members that you can’t visit because their home isn’t accessible.

Both of you are going to have to agree that your relationship is worth the extra effort. When times are hard you are going to have to be able to look at each other and say you are worth it. Married or not, there will be times of sickness and health. Both of you will have to agree that your relationship is worth it.

Doing the Work

Your relationship is not traditional. Don’t expect it to be. You will have to do extra work. I suggest that you go to couples therapy every month or two. Also, get individual counselors that you see on you own. Even if don’t think you need counseling, you will need to have someone to talk to. You are going to want to talk to someone that won’t judge you or share your personal information. Talking to friends and family about your relationship can be a mistake in the long run because your family and friends might judge your partner and start to treat them differently. Your partner will feel the animosity and this could also put a strain on your relationship.

I suggest you schedule a date night every one or two weeks. Spend some time where you can focus on each other and block out all the noise of life for a moment. Get away from your caregivers and your family for a while. These are few practices that will keep your relationship fresh.

Longevity

You can have a full and happy life. To give you the best chance of having a long and healthy relationship, you and your partner will have to adjust your expectations. Realize that your relationship won’t look like every one else’s. You will have to think through issues before they become negative issues. This post is short and there are many more topics that need to be discussed. Leave a comment if you want me to write a book on this subject. I wish you good luck in your endeavors and I’m always here to talk. Setup a consultation appointment.